Hadith Text
وَعَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ قَالَ:
كَانَ ابْنٌ لِأَبِي طَلْحَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَشْتَكِي، فَخَرَجَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ، فَقُبِضَ الصَّبِيُّ، فَلَمَّا رَجَعَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ قَالَ: مَا فَعَلَ ابْنِي؟ قَالَتْ أُمُّ سُلَيْمٍ وَهِيَ أُمُّ الصَّبِيِّ: هُوَ أَسْكَنُ مَا كَانَ، فَقَرَّبَتْ إِلَيْهِ الْعَشَاءَ فَتَعَشَّى، ثُمَّ أَصَابَ مِنْهَا، فَلَمَّا فَرَغَ قَالَتْ: وَارُوا الصَّبِيَّ، فَلَمَّا أَصْبَحَ أَبُو طَلْحَةَ أَتَىٰ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَأَخْبَرَهُ، فَقَالَ: «أَعَرَسْتُمُ اللَّيْلَةَ؟» قَالَ: نَعَمْ، قَالَ: «اللَّهُمَّ بَارِكْ لَهُمَا»، فَوَلَدَتْ غُلَاماً، فَقَالَ لِي أَبُو طَلْحَةَ: احْمِلْهُ حَتَّىٰ تَأْتِيَ بِهِ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ، وَبَعَثَ مَعَهُ بِتَمَرَاتٍ، فَقَالَ: «أَمَعَهُ شَيْءٌ؟» قَالَ: نَعَمْ، تَمَرَاتٌ، فَأَخَذَهَا النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَمَضَغَهَا، ثُمَّ أَخَذَهَا مِنْ فِيهِ فَجَعَلَهَا فِي فِي الصَّبِيِّ، ثُمَّ حَنَّكَهُ، وَسَمَّاهُ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ.
مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَيْهِ.
Full Translation
On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
Abu Talha had a son who was ill. Abu Talha went out, and the child passed away in his absence. When Abu Talha returned, he said: What has become of my son? Umm Sulaym, the boy’s mother, said: He is calmer than he has ever been.
She then brought him supper and he ate. Then he had relations with her.
When he finished, she said: Bury the child—for he has passed away.
The next morning, Abu Talha went to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and told him. The Prophet said:
“Did you spend the night in marital intimacy tonight?”
He said: Yes.
The Prophet said:
“O Allah, bless them.”
Umm Sulaym later gave birth to a boy. Abu Talha said to me: Take him until you bring him to the Prophet ﷺ. He sent some dates with him. The Prophet said:
“Is there anything with him?”
He said: Yes, dates.
The Prophet chewed the dates, then took them from his mouth and placed them in the child’s mouth, then he rubbed them into his palate, and named him Abdullah.
Agreed upon.
Meanings of Key Words
- اشتكي / قُبِضَ الصَّبِيُّ — “was complaining / was taken”; the child was sick, then he died. The wording is gentle — “taken” rather than “died,” as if received by Allah.
- هُوَ أَسْكَنُ مَا كَانَ — “he is calmer than he has ever been”; Umm Sulaym’s answer is both true and careful. She does not lie — death is indeed calm compared with the turmoil of illness — but she does not strike his heart with the news immediately.
- قَرَّبَتْ إِلَيْهِ الْعَشَاءَ فَتَعَشَّى، ثُمَّ أَصَابَ مِنْهَا — “she brought him supper, he ate, then he had relations with her”; her wisdom is remarkable: she spares him a night of immediate, unbearable grief, and honors the rhythm of the home — food, intimacy, safety.
- وَارُوا الصَّبِيَّ — “bury the child”; when she finally tells him, she does not leave the matter suspended. She names the reality clearly and directs him to its practical requirement.
- أَعَرَسْتُمُ اللَّيْلَةَ؟ — “did you spend the night in marital intimacy tonight?” The Prophet ﷺ does not ask first about the grief — he asks about the union. The question is specific, intimate, and medically grounded: the permissible act was not invalidated by the child’s death, and the night is not a “night of blame,” but a night that can carry blessing.
- بَارِكْ لَهُمَا — “bless them”; the Prophet’s supplication blesses their union, their intimacy, and turns a night of loss into a night of mercy.
- مَضَغَ التَّمَرَاتِ ثُمَّ جَعَلَهَا فِي فِي الصَّبِيِّ — “chewed the dates, then placed them in the child’s mouth”; the first thing entering the baby’s body is the Prophet’s saliva, a source of blessing; he then حَنَّكَهُ — rubbed the chewed dates into his palate — a sunnah practice for newborns.
- سَمَّاهُ عَبْدَ اللَّهِ — “he named him Abdullah”; the name “servant of Allah” is fitting — the child is born from a tested couple, a son given back after a son was taken.
Hadith Lessons
This hadith contains two scenes: the scene of loss, and the scene of return. The loss is Umm Sulaym’s son, the one born of her love and Abu Talha’s hope. The Prophet ﷺ does not change the fact that the child has passed away. What he changes is how the loss is carried.
Umm Sulaym’s response is one of the most refined displays of sabr and diyaʾ in the Sunnah. She does not scream, she does not collapse, she does not shatter the home’s calm for the night. She washes the child, she has him prepared, she tells the family not to speak to Abu Talha until she can. When he returns, she answers carefully — “he is calmer than ever” — and then she brings him supper, and she makes herself beautiful, and she receives him as a wife receives her husband. The night is not a night of blame. It is a night of mercy, even in grief.
The Prophet ﷺ does not rebuke her. He does not say: you hedged the truth. He asks about the intimacy, affirms it, and then he prays “bless them.” The blessing is not only for the child who is taken — it is for the couple who remain, whose union is still valid, whose love is still whole, whose life is not now “ruined” because a child is gone. The Prophet ﷺ redirects the grief toward gratitude for what remains, and toward hope for what can be restored.
Then the blessing arrives: Umm Sulaym gives birth to Abdullah. The child is brought to the Prophet ṣalla Allāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam, dates are chewed, placed in his mouth, and he is named Abdullah — “servant of Allah.” The first nourishment in his body is the Prophet’s saliva, the first act upon his tongue is the taste of the Prophet’s mercy. The Prophet honors the child, and through him he honors the parents who could not stop the taking, but who could receive the return with gratitude.
The hadith holds two truths at once:
- Allah may take a child, and that taking is real, not small, and the heart may break.
- Allah may also restore through the same door: the same night, the same couple, the same love, can become the channel through which a new child is given.
Three Questions to Close With
- When tragedy strikes in the home, do I usually rush to announce the pain immediately, or do I pause and ask whether there is a wiser time and way to carry the news — especially to the one who will be broken by it?
- The Prophet ﷺ did not invalidate the night of intimacy, but he blessed it. When something difficult happens, do I tend to see the whole day, week, or month as “ruined” — or do I look for where Allah’s mercy might still be present in the middle of it?
- Abdullah’s first nourishment was the Prophet’s saliva. The hadith hints that the “return” after loss can be even more blessed than the original. Is there a loss in my life where I have not yet allowed space for Allah to restore with something deeper, not just “more of what was there”?